


I'm Alone (Insomnia)

by crazygirlne



Series: Captain Canary Fic Bingo [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Companionship, Fear, Gen, Helping Someone Sleep, Insomnia, Mentions of Death, Providing Company, being alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6196249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazygirlne/pseuds/crazygirlne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Len can't sleep. Sara helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Alone (Insomnia)

**Author's Note:**

> For prompt bingo, "Insomnia."

It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. Sometimes the weather triggers it - he’s never been great at sleeping if it’s too hot out - or something might happen on a job. He’ll start having trouble falling asleep, and when he does sleep, the nightmares begin. The next night, fear of the nightmares, no matter how irrational, keep him awake even longer than the night before.

It’s a difficult cycle to break, and after what’s happened recently, he can feel it setting in.

By the time a few days have passed, he’s already exhausted. It’s not quite to the point that it’s dangerous for him to be involved in missions, but it’s getting close. Sara notices.

Of course she does.

He pretends otherwise, though, pretends he doesn’t see her watching him, doesn’t see that little furrow in her brow or the way her smile slips. He pretends to be surprised when it’s Sara who knocks lightly on his door one night, well after everyone else is asleep.

“What do you want, Lance?” He’s crossing his arms, blocking the doorway, sounding as unimpressed as possible. “I’m sleeping in here.”

“No, you’re not.” There’s no hesitation in her voice. Neither is there hesitation in the way she pushes past him into the tiny space he calls a bedroom.

There _is_ hesitation before she sits down on the cot where Mick should be sleeping.

He sighs, shutting the door behind him. “What do you want?” he repeats, letting his weariness show this time as he collapses back on his bed. Just a few feet separate the two cots, and Sara’s low voice carries easily.

“You know I died. Well, I didn’t sleep, at first, after they brought me back.” A quick glance reveals she’s getting comfortable while she speaks, and after a few seconds, they’re both looking up at the ceiling. “I mean, at least not after… I wasn’t right, in the beginning. And then once I was myself again, it just seemed like a waste, you know? Like I could sleep the next time I died.”

Leonard has to ignore the flash of denial he feels at the thought that she might die again. The team will keep her safe; she’ll keep _them_ safe. He focuses on the lack of texture on the metal ceiling, on the steadiness in her voice as she continues.

“And then when I finally needed to sleep, when I was too tired to stay awake, it was nothing but nightmares. I’d wake up, sure I wasn’t here anymore. Wasn’t anywhere. Or I’d dream about the pit, or where I was before the pit.”

“Do you remember it? Where you were before they brought you back.” Leonard is surprised he’s spoken. He rolls onto his side. Across the room, she does the same, her cool blue eyes fixing on his.

“Not really, I don’t think. The dreams are almost never the same, so I think it’s just dreams, not memories. But while I was there, I didn’t have that connection to this world, that tether to keep me here, and _that_ I remember. It feels almost like falling.” She visibly takes a breath and tucks her hands under her head. “You know those dreams where you’re falling, and you wake up sure you’re gonna die, because you’re so alone that even the ground isn’t with you anymore? It was like that, every time I woke up.

“And then finally I couldn’t take it anymore. Something snapped and I wasn’t falling. I was _diving_.” She’s still looking toward him, but she doesn’t seem to see him for a few seconds, and then her gaze clears. “And so now that’s what I do, when that starts happening; I dive instead of fall.”

He thinks he might get what she’s saying, but the moment is just a little more intimate than he can handle, so he chooses the sarcastic route. “Are you saying I should go jump off a cliff? I’m not sure how much that would help.”

She rolls her eyes, and he feels his lips pull up into something between a smirk and a smile. “No, you ass. I’m _saying_ , if you accept that it’s going to happen, if you take it into your own hands and _choose_ for it to happen, it changes it. It helps. It’s not so terrifying.”

“So how do I do that in my sleep?” He’s not smiling anymore, remembering what started this bout of insomnia in the first place. He can’t make his own “tether,” as she put it, because every time he tries, something severs it.

“You aren’t alone, Leonard.”

There’s too much knowledge and compassion in her voice. It’s too intense with her stare still fixed on him. He closes his eyes, shutting out the sight of her, her voice still echoing in his head.

_You aren’t alone, Leonard._

He _feels_ alone, though, every night in the tiny room, the empty cot screaming his guilt. With her here, it’s better, for reasons he’s not willing to admit. He can’t ask her to stay, not in so many words, but maybe…

He sighs loudly, opening his eyes long enough to grab an extra blanket from the foot of his cot and toss it at her. She catches it easily, of course, and her smile is the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes again.

This time, he sleeps, and if any of the rest of the team has noticed that they’ve taken to sharing a bedroom? Well…

It’s none of their damned business.


End file.
